Net Neutrality!!

"Bitch Wars," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_31oct08.aspx

PPS. B1 is not Jessica Biel or Lindsay Lohan. B2 is not Scarlett Johansson or Kate Bosworth. Rachel McAdams is not a warring bitch but it doesn’t means she wasn’t a casualty.

Friday, October 31, 2008
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"Bitch Wars," it's not...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Gossip_for_Thursday_October_30_2008.aspx

PPS. Kate Hudson is not a warring bitch. Neither is Kristin Bell, even though she totally could be.

Thursday, October 30, 2008
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Gossip_for_Thursday_October_30_2008.aspx

PS. Body Over Baby is not Marcia Cross.

Thursday, October 30, 2008
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"Star Treatment" reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Smutty_Tingles_29Oct08.aspx

Smutty Tingle

Are his daughters allowed to look him in the eye? (Cele|bitchy)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 at 11:04 AM
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_29Oct08.aspx

PPS. B1 is not Scarjo. B2 is not Anne Hathaway.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_29Oct08.aspx

PS. Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz are not besties in bed.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Our_CHOOPy_Europe.aspx

What is CHOOP?

CHOOP is not GOOP. CHOOP is the antithesis of GOOP.

GOOP is a night at a hotel no one can afford. GOOP is accessorising with Chopard. GOOP is using tuna steaks for tuna sandwiches. GOOP is emailing Deepak Chopra for a tea leaf interpretation whenever your daughter has a bad dream.

In other words, GOOP is what Gwynnie would do.

CHOOP on the other hand is what we did. CHOOP became our mission and we endeavoured to do Europe in the CHOOPiest way possible. CH is for Chav. CH is for Chinese. CHOOP is the ultimate low classy guide to Paris and France.

STAY
At any of the Firmdale establishments – we were at the Haymarket and then the Charlotte Street Hotel, two boutique hotels so charming and so adorable you will never want to leave. Not exactly Best Western but in London terms it’s actually not bad. Besides, you’re only getting one room and splitting it three ways, right? Because they will happily roll a cot out for you and a slumber party CHOOPy styles every night with the girls is more fun anyway.

Don’t however be fooled by the lobby Honour Bar and assume that it’ll be cheaper than the mini bar in your room just because it’s self serve. If you’re going to be honest and write down everything you take, it really starts adding up. The Honour Bar is GOOP. Tesco on the other hand is CHOOP. Soda, lemon, snackies, and Grey Goose without the shock of seeing it showing up on your bill almost 50 pounds later.


Another great feature about the Firmdales? They use Miller Harris products in perfectly sized dispensers. The ultimate in CHOOPness is to take the shampoo and the body wash for future purposes. These are the ones you won’t find at Walmart – they don’t look like Tupperware and will last until you come back. Rachel Weisz would be proud.

Don’t be afraid to spill cranberry juice, or olive juice (as Duana did our last night after busting open a container full of olives we brought home from Carluccio’s to go along with the buffalo mozzarella that has spoiled us for buffalo mozzarella forever in North America) because they’ll come up the next morning and clean the carpets.

Finally… the Haymarket and the Charlotte Street are all about the design and refreshingly enough it’s not an imitation Pottery Barn. Beautiful wallpaper, wainscoting, upholstery, distressed vanity tables, whimsical little touches like these striped pencils in the lobby: orange at the Charlotte, purple at the Haymarket.

Make it CHOOPy by grabbing a handful, like Michelle, for a similar display at home. Yes… we’re pilfering pencils now. But they let you. And they’ll look so cute in your den. And what was the ultimate objective?

Gwyneth would never.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 at 10:05 AM
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"Short and Blind" subject 2 reveal

http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_28Oct08.aspx

Dear Gossips,

Chuck and Blair are my new porn. In the absence of Pitt Porn and as the farce of Beckham Porn continues to ring more and more untrue, why not get off on a little scripted teen drama? It’s still more real than Posh and Becks anyway.

Oh Gossip Girl.

Of course those two can’t hold hands or go to the movies. Of course they can’t. But it still sucks that we have to wait til the series finale, which could take forever and I might be 40 by then, to find release. Just like them, I suppose.

And why is Jenny Humphrey’s arm practically the same size as Allegra Versace’s? Did she have her “near fatal” throat infection even back then when this episode was shot?

Funny…for some who “almost died”, as they tried to sell it, she looked remarkably alive the other night in NYC. First sighting of Taylor Momsen since her hospitalisation last week for a “potentially” life threatening sore throat which has become new code for cranked out needing detox. Infection my Chinese ass. That girl has been hopped up for a while. And curiously enough, she doesn’t get many scenes with the other young series regulars. Wonder why…

Tuesday – am online all day, remember to refresh!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Tuesday, October 28, 2008
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_28Oct08.aspx

PPPS. Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick don’t share a holiday bed.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_28Oct08.aspx

PPS. Salma Hayek is not B1. Kate Beckinsale is not B2. Hilarious that Kate Beckinsale is suggested for almost every blind item. You must think she really is full of sh-t. And she is.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_28Oct08.aspx

PS. Christine Taylor (Ben Stiller’s wife) did not choose body over baby.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008
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"Star Treatment" guess

http://www.laineygossip.com/Smutty_Tingles_27Oct08.aspx

Smutty Tingle

It’s ok because he’s a rock god, right? (Dlisted)

Monday, October 27, 2008 at 11:04 AM
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Jessica_Biels_publicist_confirms_that_her_self_worth_is_entirely_tied_up_in_Justin_Timberlake.aspx

There are maybe, like, two of you still sitting on the fence about Shelf Ass Jessica Biel’s insatiable appetite for fame and the increasingly embarrassing, not to mention ruthless, ways she’s attempting to achieve it.

If this applies to you, I predict you’ll have changed your mind by the end of this post. Because this time it’s undeniable.

Shelfy somehow scored top billing in a new film called Easy Virtue, polluting the polished performances of Colin Firth and Kristin Scott Thomas who apparently relished every opportunity she had on film to cut that ass down.

Anyway, Shelf ended up recording a few songs for the movie soundtrack. And of course, because she can’t take a golden sh-t without her publicist telling us about it, a hilariously obvious article appeared on People.com the other day… ALWAYS People.com, right?

Shelfy’s rep said she did an “amazing job” singing in studio and even provided us with bystander reaction:

"Everyone at the studio said, 'Some girls have everything.' Jessica Biel is dating a gorgeous guy, she's a great actress – and she can sing."


Oh now that’s a great message, non?

The definition of having “everything” and the first attribute listed in support of the fact (?) that Jessica Biel has “everything” is that she is DATING A GORGEOUS GUY.

Now remember…these words were released by Shelfy’s publicist, a hired communications specialist whose job it is to craft the message.

It’s no accident.

It’s no accident that she described her client’s having everything as it relates to who she’s dating. Why? Because her client is leveraging her entire career off her man.

And THAT has EVERYTHING to do with Jessica Biel’s definition of girl power.

But just in case you’re still not convinced? One more nail…

When asked if Shelf Ass would ever work on her own album, the indefatigable publicist replied:

"I'm not sure but I'm sure dating Justin will probably have some influence in that!"

Because she can’t decide for herself?

For someone who claims she wants to keep her relationship private, her public relations team talks about it an awful lot, non?

To hear Shelfy sing, click here and at the bottom right corner, scroll to track 13. Stretching puts it mildly.

This is Shelf Ass with a smug face leaving LA for London the other day en route to the film festival where Easy Virtue is being screened.

Monday, October 27, 2008 at 6:40 AM
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_27Oct08.aspx

PPPPPS. Jennifer Garner is not a warring bitch. Neither is Sienna Miller.

Monday, October 27, 2008
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http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_27Oct08.aspx

PS. Besties in Bed is not Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo.

Monday, October 27, 2008
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