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"He turned out to be the cliché" reveal

http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24176/Jon-Hamm%E2%80%99s-bar-moves

Jon Hamm’s bar moves


No... they’re not all perfect. This is a reality that Twilight fans are trying to accept today.

And for those of you devoted to Jon Hamm...well...

It’s been a couple of weeks for you.

And now there’s more.

The Daily is reporting exclusively that Hamm has been flirty and single-acting in bars and at events in Kansas, Rome, and Brooklyn hitting on girls at a pub there and buying drinks for “every mediocre girl”. Sh-t. Do we need to be so harsh?

Hamm’s long-time partner Jennifer Westfeldt was not with him on any of those occasions.

What?

Can’t a dude talk to a woman without being accused of being unfaithful. Of course. Of course. Not everyone is a pig. Jon Hamm isn’t a pig, is he?

Click here to read more from The Daily.

July 25, 2012 at 9:45 AM

He turned out to be the cliché



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24175/Cucumber-blind-riddle

Let’s take a break from the Twilight despair to get into some sexual produce.

They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.

At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.

A cucumber.

In the garden.

At a party.

With a cucumber.

She enjoyed it.

They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified. They’re a lot luckier than Kristen Stewart though. The evidence in this case will not be published.

July 25, 2012 at 9:41 AM


Update (8/20/12): reveal



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Celebrity/20397/Details/23890/Jon-Hamm-and-Jennifer-Westfeldt-are-making-it-longer-than-others

We still have you

Jon Hamm attended the To Rome With Love screening last night in New York with his long-time love Jennifer Westfeldt. Oh Hamm. We still have you, don’t we? You won’t wrap your head in a thousand scarves and necklaces and prefer the company of Marilyn Manson over your family, will you?

Never ever once has there been a hint of it with Jon Hamm. Never once the suggestion that he steps out on her. They’ve been together forever, when he was struggling and now that he’s no longer struggling. It’s rare, totally. But it’s not impossible, right? Jon Hamm is saying it’s not impossible?

June 21, 2012 at 1:53 PM

He turned out to be the cliché



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Celebrity/20397/Details/21311/Jon-Hamm-and-Jennifer-Westfeldt-Emmy-Awards-2011-19sept11

Jon Hamm looked bummed out when Mad Men won for Best Drama. Jon Hamm also has a man-crush on Coach Taylor. This is why we love Jon Hamm. Who looked, as usual, very handsome last night. And very chivalrously helped several ladies up on stage. And he loves his lady so much, Jennifer Westfeldt, which is why I wish, I wish so much, she would stop with the nonsense all up in her face. Because whatever she’s trying to fix with all that sh-t, it cannot be fixed with a needle or a filler, and this was the perhaps too-subtle point I was trying to make last week: she is too smart to be fighting it this hard; but a girl who is fighting it this hard, well, that’s a girl who’s probably holding on really, really too tight, right?
.
One day a few years ago, Antonio Banderas looked at his wife Melanie Griffith and he told her, “I love you so much, only you, and this is why I cannot accept any more plastic surgery because you don’t need it, I will still love you when you stop, I will always love you so please stop.”

Supposedly she did.

I wonder if Jon Hamm will say the same to Jennifer Westfeldt. I wonder if he will tell her that she is bright and talented, that she can write and create, that she is more than just a witless starlet running around pretending to be 25 forever, and that as such she doesn’t have to paralyse her face anymore, because it’s so much more interesting when it moves.

I hope he tells her that every day and she listens. I hope she listens and they make it.

Westfeldt’s Friends With Kids which screened at TIFF last week was just acquired yesterday by Lionsgate. I didn’t get a chance to see it but several of my colleagues did, and LOVED it.

September 19, 2011 at 4:37 AM

He turned out to be the cliché



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Celebrity/20397/Details/21232/Jon-Hamm-and-Jennifer-Westfeldt-at-TIFF-2011-to-promote-Friends-With-Kids-12sept11

It was really cute when they were full on making out upstairs at the Grey Goose/Soho House party. This happened before they hooked up with George Clooney and Stacy Keibler. He adores her. He really, really adores her.

But ...

I mean you’re looking at these photos. And we’re thinking the same thing, right? Because in person, seeing her, all of us there were thinking the same thing. The same thing I thought when I watched her on Grey’s Anatomy and if you’ve been reading this blog a long time you’ll have heard it before but for the benefit of those who are relatively new...

Remember when Jennifer Westfeldt was on Grey’s Anatomy and she played the woman with cancer and she was supposed to be sick but in every scene her skin was rosy and glowing and the picture of health? That made me crazy. And, well, seeing her in person, several times now, you realise some things are hard to make OVER, you know what I mean?

Of course, being the bitch ass gossips that we are, the logical next part of this discussion is who he is now, and who she is now, and how f-cking hard that must be and if it’s not actually hard, how f-cking awful it is that everyone just makes that assumption.

Having said that, how accurate is the assumption?

The common observation amongst many of us seeing them this weekend as they promoted Friends With Kids at TIFF was that she seemed...clingy. Courtney Shea, the VISA TIFF Insider called her a drag. Click here to read Courtney’s encounter with Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt on Saturday night. I disagree with Courtney about Hamm’s height. His height is fine. But on the drag part...? Maybe a little. And this worries me for them. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m wrong. Give me another way to see it. I am asking you for serious.


September 12, 2011 at 6:52 AM

He turned out to be the cliché



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"Thin For Nothing" reveal 2

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24088/As-IF-Ashley-Greene-is-taking-over-Kristen-Stewart

Need some comic relief this Monday morning? You can thank Ashley Greene for it. This item appeared in the NY Post yesterday. I’ve decided to include the entire article for maximum amusement:


Greene is really about to be the color of money.
For the past four years, “Twilight” siren Kristen Stewart needed a garlic necklace of her own to avoid the immense amount of press requests and fashion houses longing to pin her face to their hot campaigns.
Now the quiet bloodsucker in the background, Ashley Greene, is getting top billing. She’s currently gracing the cover of Cosmopolitan’s “Hot Issue” after landing on the front of Lucky, Women’s Health and a handful of other titles.
“[Stewart] is no longer the poster girl for ‘Twilight.’ The industry has fallen in love with Greene, who is being hunted down by producers for several upcoming roles,” an insider says.
Greene is about to really cash in with three new films including the much-buzzed “CBGB,” on the New York punk scene and the venerable club.
Execs at major fashion houses are drooling over her upcoming fall DKNY Jeans campaign.
“Prada is one of many ready to pony up far more than the standard $20 million payday to land [Greene],” our source said. And all this before the last installment of "Twilight" hits theaters in mid-November.--

Joseph Barracato was the poor writer assigned to that story. I wonder if he didn’t have to self-medicate to get through it. For the entertainment reporter there are those days - and I know them well - when you have to fight the urge to say to your editor/producer “Please, God, no, do I have to?” Then you close your eyes and accept your fate. No one will remember, right? No one will blame me, right?

No, Joseph, we don’t blame you.

We blame no one.

Because this sh-t, this sh-t is FUNNY.

Ashley Greene is about to dethrone Kristen Stewart??? The same Kristen Stewart who just won the box office this summer with a non-Twilight film and is about to claim yet another mega money franchise all while somehow maintaining her small movie credibility - that Kristen Stewart? Kristen Stewart can get any meeting she wants to in Hollywood, no problem. Ashley Greene couldn’t f-ck her way into most meetings, let alone the kind of meetings Stewart takes, and does, but only discriminately. Kristen Stewart doesn’t have to stop eating.

I know there are those of you who aren’t enamoured with Stewart. Fine. I get that. But like her or not, you are also not an idiot. You know that right now, by the Hollywood grading system, it doesn’t get higher than Kristen Stewart. She currently lives in the penthouse with Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence. No doubt you find both of them more agreeable.

In other words, this mentally unstable New York Post article is trying to tell you that Ashley Greene, a third tier Twilight cast member who “dated” a Jonas Vagina Virgin, is synonymous with Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashley Greene, bless her, she won’t stop trying. If she can’t stop embarrassing herself, why shouldn’t we continue to enjoy it?

Here she is at Comic-Con the other day dressed for a tea party. Am also throwing in some shots of her with that other loser Kellan Lutz because, well, no matter how hard they want to escape each other, this is where they’ll always exist - side by side, B+ max forever.

July 16, 2012 at 11:10

Thin For Nothing



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http://laineygossip.com/Articles/Celebrity/20116/Details/24131/Eating-ice-cream-on-a-bench-with-Mark-Ruffalo

I want to eat ice cream on a bench, any bench anywhere, but especially in New York, with Mark Ruffalo any time. Even in winter. Even when it’s raining. Whatever. I’m there. It would crush me if he were the cliché. But he’s not. So we have nothing to worry about.

The thing about Mark Ruffalo is that he makes even the non-gushy girls gushy. Duana is not a gushy girl. She’s not prone to crushing and writing imaginary meet-cute screenplays about Ryan Gosling or whatever. Bring the conversation around to Mark Ruffalo however and her voice goes up, almost squeaky. Last week we were on a conference call and she was all business and then Mark Ruffalo somehow came up and Duana allowed herself to be distracted. She may have even giggled. That’s Mark Ruffalo.

Look at him with his slouchy t-shirt and rumpled hair, greying all over, matching his beard. And then that voice...

Oh God.

Wait. There are a few of you out there, more than a few, who aren’t convinced right?

Please. Watch. Watch him commit to that conversation with his hand on his face holding an imaginary phone! Come on! (I’ve now just killed Duana’s entire day.)



July 19, 2012 at 11:55

He turned out to be the cliché



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